Sunday, September 29, 2013

Pursuit of Happiness.....

From the day of birth till this second, very few of us did live.... Since many people I know and I see around are always in Pursuit of Happiness, there are a very few who live life, the majority just survives....
     
      Here is a friend of mine who used to think different, who wanted to live.... He was very ambitious, he was very optimistic.... He expected good news to come to him every day.... He wanted to turn every dark corner of his life to see the light... He used to dream a lot.... 

      Waiting all his life for what could be his "Chandrayaan" to success, he kept travelling like what his mind told him to... He has a lot of friends and family around him.... It was a mixed bag... There were mentors, lovers, supporters and what not.... He felt comfortable... He felt happy... He thought life was going to be awesome..... His dreams were coming to be true.... 

     There was a day when he realized that he had not started life yet... Getting a job was not life, winning a girl's heart was not life either.... He realized he had longed for things which could be possible, but difficult... It could take a lot of his skills to convince the people around him about what he needs and how much it means to him... The more they cared about him, the more complacent he became.... The world around my friend including me has been very rigid... It was not Newton or Einstein, but the society that had framed and proposed the laws and theories of life, which they say govern your success....  No matter how you live, follow them.... Miss your family, miss your mom's dishes, miss the smell of life of your home.... But survive like everyone else.... 

     Once when my friend took a leap of faith, he was alone.... His well-wishers did not want him to fail, genuine concern.... But he was in pursuit of happiness.... Now when there are a lot of cobwebs around him, he seems it is difficult to break-off.... He wanted to be a painter, but his life was colorless... Only the dark dull colors of printed dollar notes stood out in the society... When money = life, life = boring..... When life = the way you like it, money = zero.... It is the way we are designed to live.... 

     Once he told me his days were growing more and more boring... That he wanted to quit and go to a wood-house on the lake-shore just to realize how violent his life was....  The shouting aunties, compelling relatives, emotional parents and demanding bosses.... I thought he could have gone mad.... But I do see his heart these days.... When i feel the pulse of so called life.... 

    He told me that, the minority of this world, who are happy are the people who listened to the rhythm of their heartbeats, who felt the impulse of desire, who were deaf when others talked about love to them.... He advised me to dream, he stressed upon the D's : Dream, Desire, Determination and Destination..... 

    He was crazy, but he had the glow and glory of the idea on his face when he spoke to me.... He asked me to lie, he asked me to jump higher for every next hurdle of the race, he asked me to play dirty at times, he asked me to die for what I need around me when I would really live... He told me that every man is born twice, the second birth is when I decide how I'm gonna live....
         And finally when he was about to tell me what I should choose,,,,,,, I just woke up....
What a sweet dream...!!! N how strange a friend...!!!

Love you... All my people around me....!!!! 


Sunday, November 6, 2011

Introspection.....

INTROSPECTION.... a word which I came to be familiar with about 4 yrs back.... My teacher advised me n my classmates to undergo this act of self analysis to discover n pursue a better person within ourselves.... Like most of the advices which came my way those days, this too got neglected __ Or let me put it in a better( or worse) way, I chose to believe that I didn't need it then.....

After so long,,,, Just Starting to realize that, I have started something like that,.... Not out of any one's advice..... But a self triggered, spontaneous, occasional analysis of myself which went unrealized for many times.... Seriously,  wasn't aware of such a process taking place within....

As a teenager, each one of us must have had a partially-true (as opposed to false... which would be disregarding ourselves) belief, a self respecting-proud one though, that we have matured enough to face the problems that come across our way....
" Will you please grow up???" Every teacher, every parent, every elder would have made such an imposing dialog to you somewhere around that period of your life..... But I chose to believe they were wrong.... I chose to believe - I am mature...
Stepping out of those school shoes, stepping into a larger scene of life,,,, where I didn't have my faithful true school friends around me 24/7,,,, where I didn't have any teacher who seemed to me like my mother.... I got lots of free lonely time to brood.... Thinking of what I thought in my teen ages, emerged a realization, that we are still growing up....

Now, when I turn back, I don't see any aspect to regret about..... but there were situations where I could have acted mature....!!! Many times carried away by emotions, prejudices, frustrations, over-enthusiasm, over-confidence n pride, I jumped into conclusions which could have been a little more reasonable and pleasing.... Once when the teacher calls you prejudiced, you say within, "I'm not one, Instead I believe you are......"

She asks you to introspect about your actions and thoughts, and u say, "Yeah I used to do it..."
But later you realize, she was not prejudiced, she was just foreseeing degradation of your soul, character, talent...

After some unhealthy years of selfishness, competition and very little (not zero anyways) compassion and truth in relations, I miss ma school life, I miss the affection.... I realize the high voltage problems awaiting me,,,, Hyper reactive people who are gonna crowd me,,,, Fearsome huge rival trucks waiting to run down me in future roads......

Yes...!!! I'm tensed about ma future.... but not hopeless.... Probably I have taken up a huge risk in life, which may go either way....
YEAH....DESTINY WILL SWING MA WAY...!!! IT SHOULD....



While ending this first blog-post of mine, I would like to bullet out 3 points....
  • All these are my crazy thoughts.... at 3.30 am of a Sunday..... So disregard the crap as u feel...
  • I miss ma school life....
  • Dedicated to my most special teacher, who used to tell me, "Stop eating my brain..."   

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Something New.....

Maybe the boring days are driving me crazy..... Or maybe the high temp fever is taking charge of my mind....
Whatever, stepping into the world of blogging I'm not completely aware of d protocols of this culture....
Hoping to get acquainted with this....

Really would like to yell out my thoughts..... to stop suppressing the crazy spoiled child within me....... to say out loud what I feel..... to listen to many people.... to be listened.... to have ma thoughts OXIDISED....!!!!